


something to hope for

by notbad



Series: verses [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff and Angst, Holidays, Implied Top Levi, Jealous Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Jealousy, Long-Haired Eren Yeager, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Minor Reiner Braun/Eren Yeager, Mutual Pining, No Titans, No war, POV Multiple, Pining, Post-Time Skip Apperances, canonverse, implied Bottom Eren
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:14:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29282040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notbad/pseuds/notbad
Summary: “Levi said his name with a softness, the way one might say ‘love’ or ‘precious’. The sentiment, this time and every other time, only went over Eren’s head.”Four days. That’s how long Eren had to convince Captain Levi to not spend the Winter Solstice festival or his birthday alone. He didn’t know why his heart hurt so much at the idea that Levi wouldn’t spend it with him.
Relationships: Levi Ackerman/Eren Yeager, riren, rivaere
Series: verses [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2150379
Comments: 15
Kudos: 47





	1. journeys end in lovers meeting;

**Author's Note:**

> this is very much canon divergent to the point where it can barely be called canonverse. and i will try my best to keep it at a teen rating, until like the last chapter.
> 
> not going to say much else other than, there's some mild **reiner/eren, historia/ymir, and sasha/niccolo**. like i said it's not much but just warning you in case that's not your thing.

_“Hope” is the thing with feathers  
That perches in the soul  
And sings the tune without the words  
And never stops at all  
And sweetest in the Gale is heard  
And sore must be the storm  
That could abash the little Bird  
That kept so many warm  
I’ve heard it in the chillest land  
And on the strangest Sea  
Yet never in Extremity  
It asked a crumb of me._

**EREN**  
21st  


“Captain, please reconsider!” Eren’s voice rang out in the otherwise silent quarters. He really hadn’t meant to raise his voice so much.

The sound of his captain’s pen scratching against paper paused. The man gripped the pen tighter, his hands calloused, veiny, and filled with cuts and scratches that healed long ago. The hands of someone who’s spent his life immersed in hard work. With a small sigh, he finally looked at Eren.

“There’s nothing you can say that will convince me,” Levi was resolute in his convictions. None of Eren’s arguments or promises had swayed him in the slightest. 

“ _Eren_ , just go. I’m sure your friends are waiting for you.” Levi said his name with a softness, the way one might say ‘love’ or ‘precious’. The sentiment, this time and every other time, only went over Eren’s head. Only the frustration and sadness of his captain deciding to spend the night alone and working resided.

He furrowed his brows and looked into Levi’s eyes, really looked. One was covered by an eye patch but the other bore into him with a steel gaze. Eren’s palms were still against the desk, as he leaned forward over the paperwork his captain was working on. He found himself wavering. This was only the first day of the winter solstice festival. Four more days that he had the chance to convince Levi to not spend his days alone. He wouldn’t let him.

And if he couldn’t...he wasn’t sure he’d get another chance to spend the festival with him next year. Or the one after that. 

Eren looked away. He pushed himself from the desk, and grabbed his jacket off one of the chairs. 

“Okay, just,…If you change your mind, I’ll be down by the northern plaza. At the wishing tree.” He gave his captain a small smile as he put his arms though his thick jacket. 

This wasn’t the first year that Levi had decidedly shut himself in quarters while everyone celebrated the solstice and the goddess Ymir. But it was the first year that Eren and he had formed, well, this camaraderie of sorts. Eren had always admired Levi, and their relationship was always fairly positive. But this is new. Okay, he wasn’t really sure how the captain felt about him, but he was sure that he liked him at least a little bit.

The position wasn’t exactly official, but as soon as he had joined the squad he’d become Levi’s assistant of sorts. And the place where he stood had become like a second home to him. Levi, despite Eren’s disapproval, almost never used his bed; opting to sleep at his desk instead. On many nights when Eren was exhausted, he’d fall asleep on the couch by the window. But every time, he’d wake up on the captain’s bed. It got to the point where he hadn’t slept in his own room for months. 

Spending nights with your squad leader. Yeah, he’d gotten a lot of flack about that from the rest of the squad and his friends for a while. First Levi picked him, a new recruit, to join his squad and now they spent all their days practically attached at the hip. There were rumors, as there always are. The kind of rumors that made Eren turn bright red. He didn’t understand why anyone would jump to that conclusion at all. Say those things about him. About Levi.

Nobody expected it; Eren on Levi’s squad. But the captain had picked him. He had seen _something_ in Eren that no one else did. The implication that he’d gained some sort of favoritism from his captain by unsavory means instead of any hard work, is really what made him mad. When Eren had asked Levi about this he’d told Eren that people can think what they want about them; Judge Levi’s character as they’d like and assume Eren cheated his way to his position, but that didn’t make it true. He had spent years proving them wrong; that he was capable.

They both mumbled their goodbyes, and Levi said nothing as Eren walked towards the door. Though the other man swore he could feel his captain's eyes on him. As he gripped the door knob, he had hoped his captain would tell him to stop. 

He didn’t. 

Swallowing his disappointment, Eren made his way out of headquarters. It didn’t take long for him to feel increasingly lonely by the overwhelming bustle of celebration. The elaborateness of it all felt miles away from the close-knit festivals they had in Shiganshina. He could only imagine extravagant lengths the wealthier districts in Wall Sina or even Rose would go to.

Mikasa, Armin, and him would normally be out of Trost by now with their families. For some reason he was sure of his ability to convince Levi to come with him, so he told them to go without him. He still didn’t regret staying behind; there was still time to get Levi to come with him. But he did wish he had made better plans. He prayed that he’d manage to find someone he knew near the plaza or even better, that captain Levi would change his mind.

Eren weaved around children as they chased each other around, vendors who tried to get him to buy their masks and trinkets, and couples who danced wherever there was music. As the sun fell, only more people came out of their homes. He’s thankful that the plaza was more calm than the streets. He could see the glow of the wishing tree from here.

If Levi was with him, he probably would’ve hated all the people they had to push through to get here. He wouldn’t have said it out loud until they were alone but there’d be a slight crease between his brows the whole way. Subtle enough that it’s a trait that Eren only noticed about Levi a year ago. When you spend this much time with someone, he supposed, you notice all sorts of little things.

Eren smiled to himself as he walked past all kinds of stalls and thought about the other things he noticed about him. And all the comments he’d make about said stalls. He’d turn his nose at any of the food stalls with the newly added seafood and make sure to say how _fucking gross_ it was when Eren ate any of it. Maybe he’d comment how ridiculous the masks that lined the stalls looked, but would pick out one for Eren anyways. Like his captain had once said, he was really talkative, in his own Levi kind of way. 

A stall filled with wood carvings is what got Eren to stop in his tracks. Tiny statues of Ymir, intricate ornaments, and little versions of animals found in wall Maria hung all around the stall. That’s not what caught Eren’s eye though. Almost beaming in the comforting glow of the lanterns that were on both sides of the stall, was a wooden box that contained a row of carving tools. 

After they’d finish their work for the day, Eren would sometimes find Levi surrounded by wood shavings completely entranced by the knife and whatever masterpiece he was making. Once, levi laughed, a rare and rough sort of rumble, when Eren called his little statue a masterpiece but it really had been one to Eren. 

This past month Levi had been working on a carving, though Eren never actually saw him do it. The shavings he’d always see his captain cleaning up and the way his hand would fidget — itching to get his hands on his knife, said it all.

A box of tools would be a great gift, wouldn’t it? So his captain can have more than just a knife. He touched the surface of the box, the grain of the wood smooth against his fingers. 

The rest of the squad all pitched in to get Levi some tea imported from outside of Paradis, and Petra assured him that would be enough. Getting him a gift at all was already pushing it. Even with the additional gift Hange helped him arrange, it still felt a little impersonal to him. Especially since his captain's birthday was soon too. The winter solstice festival and a birthday, meant that Levi should get triple as good of a gift. In his opinion, at least.

The vendor told him the price — he’d barely have enough to get any sweets. But it’d be worth it. After he paid and held the box tightly around his arms, he heard a voice behind him.

“Eren!” 

He turned to see Reiner walking over to him, still in his uniform. His face was a little flushed from the cold.

“Hey,” Eren quickly waved goodbye to the vendor and went over by Reiner. He scrunched his face. “Shouldn’t you be on a boat right about now?” 

Instead of answering, Reiner nodded his head to the side, signaling for them to keep walking towards the wishing tree. When he started to walk, Eren rushed to his side, as not to be left behind. At least not before he got his answer. He wondered if Bert and all them were still here too.

“They’re letting our families come visit us this year instead. What about you? You’re supposed to be miles from here too, yeah?” Reiner scratched the back of his head as he looked slightly down at Eren. Despite his growth spurt, Eren still managed to be nearly a head shorter than Reiner. 

“Well, I’m waiting a while to leave. My parents come to visit often anyways, so missing some of the celebrations this year isn't a big deal.” Reiner raised a brow at his words and his gaze flickered towards the box in Eren’s arms.

“Any reason why?”

“Captain Levi — Well, I’m hoping I can convince him to come with me down to Shinagasina.” He really didn’t want to say anything more than that. His captain doesn’t seem to care all that much about what people say about him. But telling anymore than that still seemed like he was crossing some boundary. Like he was gossiping

“Oh, I see.” The disappointment in Reiner’s voice was clear. “If he doesn’t come with what then?” Eren frowned. He really didn’t want to think about that.

“If I can’t convince him by the twenty-fourth, then I’ll leave on my own. No point in waiting any longer, I guess.” 

They approached the wishing tree. It was giant, not as nearly as big as some of the trees they had in the outskirts of Wall Maria but it still towered over all of the buildings. Lanterns, candies, apples, and nuts decorated the tree, along with sheets of paper near the bottom with people’s wishes on them. 

“You free tonight, then?” 

“I planned on spending tonight with a few people, but I’ve had no luck in finding anyone but you…” He trailed off. At this point, he wasn’t sure if he even wanted to stay at the festival if his captain didn’t change his mind. And he didn’t know why his heart hurt so much at the idea that Levi wouldn’t spend it with him.

“Yeah, same for me. Really should’ve planned better, huh? Other than recruits and soldiers from outside of Paradis, I’m pretty almost everyone’s gone. Jean’s mom wanted him to come home early, Connie’s family unexpectedly showed up, Thomas — Well, You get the idea.” 

Seeing Eren’s disappointment, Reiner continued, “But that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun here with just the two of us.”

As if on cue, and maybe sensing the situation with that weird sixth sense of hers, an arm went around his shoulder. He didn’t have to look to know that it was Ymir, the girl not the goddess, that was leaning on him. He managed to half-heartedly push Ymir off of him. Unfazed, she just started circling around them like a vulture.

“You guys have any coin left? My girl Sasha, over here is running low. Hey, Reiner. You look like you have a lot on you.”

“Yeah, like I’d give you any.”

“Whatever, man. I thought you guys wanted other people to hang out with? We’re other people. And look at Sasha.” Ymir, stretching her arm out, pointed at Sasha who looked perfectly normal. “She’s practically skin and bones. And she’s so nervous, she’s shaking like a leaf.”

“Reiner, I think I might be dying from starvation” Sasha interjected, clutching her stomach and widening her eyes.

The conversation continued this way for a while; Ymir and Reiner going back and forth and Sasha putting on a show of how much she needed Reiner’s coin. Normally, Eren would be annoyed. But despite them trying to con Reiner out of his money, there were people who’re far worse company. And, man, did he need a distraction.

In the end, Reiner didn’t manage to get them to leave. Instead they tagged along. To Reiner’s annoyance, Eren ended up splitting most of the food he bought him with the two girls. Really, it was just Eren trying to share with Sasha due to the bloodthirsty look in her eye, but Ymir would just take it from her. Then he’d give Sasha more to temporarily sate her hunger. This repeated, until Eren figured it was just easier to just give Ymir some right away.

And honestly, it was fun. But — there’s always a ‘but’ — there was this constant pull he felt to just leave. 

❆

**Eren pulled his jacket tighter** around himself and pulled his scarf up so it covered his nose. More of a comforting gesture than to get warmer. His body temperature runs abnormally high, or so he’s been told. 

His companions talked amongst each other as he traded one of the last of his coins away. And in turn he was handed a slip of paper. The woman who’s selling them reminded him of his grandmother, with her tight gray curls only partially hidden by a scarf around her head like a halo, a warm toothy smile, wrinkled night kissed skin, and most of all big golden brown eyes filled with a stubborn fury. 

She insisted he was much too skinny, though most of his form was hidden by his jacket. It didn’t stop her from giving him a free slice of pie that oozed sugar covered berries. He’d like to think that Levi would’ve found her funny. 

The woman handed him a pen and gestured to the ink bottle that sat on the table in front of her. _Now make a wish, she told him._ That’s what the sheet of paper was for. The one he picked was a deep royal blue and painted silver on the edges, and very very blank no matter how much he tried to will the perfect wish to be written onto it. They say if Ymir deems it worthy enough, her daughters disguised as birds will come down from the sun and just to grant it. Though he wasn’t sure he believed this particular story. And it was still a lot of pressure, if you ask Eren. A part of him hated the idea that any of the work he put forward was worthless if all he had to do was wish for it. 

And really, wishing for Levi to come with him to Shiganshina seemed selfish when he could wish for something grander. A little more selfless. Maybe wishes were supposed to be a little selfish, though. 

“Honey, the trick is to find the heart of what you desire.” The woman gently patted his still unmoving hand that gripped the pen. 

“Huh?”

“Wishing for something like riches is easy. But that’s not the heart of the wish. For some it’d be stability. Look a little deeper.”

“Thank you, ma'am. But frankly, that’s a lot easier said than done.” 

She laughed. 

“Well, how about this. You just write a wish. If you’re unhappy with it, I’ll give you another sheet. Free of charge. And I’ll let you in on a little secret,” She waves for me to move closer. “Ymir isn’t a miracle worker and she ain’t in the business of changing fate. Can’t make something from nothing. And most of all, she favors the truth above all. No point in wishing for something you don’t actually want. Keep all this in mind and I’m sure she’ll grant your wish. Mine’s happened every year.”

He wasn’t quite sure if he believed that her wish had been granted every year. But the pride in her voice when she said it and the offer for more paper was the boost he needed. 

His deepest desire, huh. 

The pen glided on the page as he finally made his wish. He stared at the paper, a little drop of ink falling on it as he stilled. 

“You need another?” 

“I think I’m good, ma’am. Thank you for your help. And for the pie.”

“No worries, for a cute young man like yourself, I don’t mind losing a little coin. If you’re here another day, you can make it up to me with a dance.” Getting hit on by a little old lady wasn’t what he expected from this conversation. He’s pretty sure his friends heard her too, from the way that Ymir bursted out laughing. 

Before he could say anything, she continued, “Don’t worry, I’m happily married. And I can tell I’m not your type in more ways than one.” Now it was his turn to laugh.

“You got it, ma’am. I’ll make sure to come by if I’m here again.” He gave her a smile, the only genuine one he’s had all night. He folded his paper up and started to walk towards the tree, his friends beside him.

“Oh! And, honey, good luck with that man you’re trying to woo! Give him a kiss for me, yeah?” The old vendor yelled. If he wasn’t carrying a slice of pie in one hand, he would’ve covered his face. She must’ve seen what he wrote, but he didn’t know where she got the idea he was trying to ‘woo’ his captain.

Eren ignored Ymir’s suppressed laughs while he tied his wish to the tree. It was a time of celebration, he’ll let her have her fun. Even if it was getting on his nerves.

Taking a step back, he looked at the tree. It was filled with so many other hopes and wishes, his only one of thousands. He felt overwhelmed with how small he felt at that moment.

“Took you long enough, _honey_. Hope your wish was worth it.” Ymir said, finally calming down her laughter. “Come, let’s go over there and have a chat.” She motioned to the railing that looked over the city. He reluctantly followed.

“The hell do you want?” He said, but there was no real malice in his voice.

“Have you ever seen someone and felt like you were meant to know them? Like you see them for the first time and you’re like ‘I need to know them’. But you’d just settle to be close to them. The distance between you and them…If you could just be a little bit, just a tiny fucking bit closer. Maybe you’d be happy. ”

He quirked a brow at her, “Why are you asking this?”

“Because I think you should go. Leave the festival. You clearly have something else on your mind — All four of us are thinking about someone else. Even Sasha. You know why she isn’t gone? She’s waiting for this man from Marley to show up, hoping he’ll meet her parents. But you? You’re the most miserable sap out of all of us. And right now, you have a chance. That’s a lot more than I can say.”

“I always am, aren’t I? The miserable one.” He joked, not really wanting to deny that his mind had been elsewhere. “Is this person you’re thinking about the reason why you tried so hard to be assigned in Sina?”

“Doesn’t matter now does it? I got assigned but I still feel just as far. Whatever.” 

“Hey, Ymir, why help me at all?”

“It’s a time of celebration, ain’t it? I’m capable of being nice when I want to,” She leaned further onto the railing. “And you shared with Sasha. Don’t tell anyone, but I actually care about her. Just a little bit. But, ugh, just don’t think this means I like you or that we’re friends or something.” She says, her voice a little quieter.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He said. Before he could stop himself he added, “Oh and what was it? _Good luck with that girl you’re trying to woo_.”

❆

**“You’re leaving?”** Reiner asked as he handed Eren his stuff back to him.

“Yeah, sorry about that. And thanks for carrying my stuff. I had fun. But there’s somewhere I need to be.”

“I get it,” Eren started to walk away, but Reiner grabbed his sleeve. “Oh, before you go. Have you had a chance to think about it? I know that’s a big decision, and I don’t mean to rush you, but I think It’d be a great opportunity. I think you’d love it. Ibas especially.”

“I — I’ve been thinking about it alot. I want to, I really do. But…” He trailed off. He felt guilty. The thing he’d been dreaming about since he could walk, maybe even before that, and now he had it in his grasp. And for once and his life, he can’t help but hesitate. 

“Hey, just don’t hold yourself back for the sake of others, okay? Paradis will be here when you get back.” 

Eren gave Reiner a strained smile and assured him he’d give his answer soon. They said their goodbyes and a long side hug, as to not crush Eren’s stuff in one of Reiner’s famous bear hugs.

After Eren got farther away, Reiner cupped his hands around his mouth. “Hey, Eren? If you’re still here on the twenty-fourth, save me a dance alright? After you dance with that nice old lady, of course.”

“No promises!”

❆

**After three knocks,** there was no response from inside his captain’s quarters. He pressed his ear against the door. Still nothing. Carefully holding the tray with one hand, he uses his other to turn the knob until he here’s a click. He pushes his shoulder against the door. It softly creaks open. The room’s dim, with the curtains closed a few flickering candles being the only source of light. Eren smiles at the sight that greets him.

He closes the door and the items on the tray clink against each other as he walks into the room. Carefully, he places the tray on the desk. As to not wake his captain, who was sleeping so soundly. Levi’s arms were crossed on the desk, his head pressed against them, and his messier than usual. A couple strands covered his face and Eren felt the need to brush them out of the way. His hand a couple inches away, he stops himself. Best to not risk waking the captain. 

Instead, he goes to the closet and grabs one of the spare blankets. Carefully, he covers his captain. He really wished he would’ve gotten to eat with Levi and maybe even give him the first present. Really, he was supposed to wait a couple days for all the gift giving. But the first present, the one Hange helped him arrange, seemed more pressing than tradition. 

Now it was time to clean Levi’s mess. Eren sighed at the sight of the shavings on the desk and floor around the chair, along with the knife that his captain gripped tightly. This man, this really mess of a man, fell asleep in the middle of carving. Again. One day he’s going to stab someone’s eye out when he wakes up, that’s what Eren tells him every time. Eren knew how Levi’d respond by heart. _They shouldn’t have woken up someone with a fuckin’ knife_ , he’d say.

He’d only managed to get some of the desk cleaned off before he saw Levi still. Ignoring the eyes he could feel peering into him, he kept wiping the wooden surface.

“I can clean up my own messes,” Levi’s voice, having just woken up, came out raspy and even deeper than usual. Eren found himself wanting to hear Levi wake up more often. 

Eren tsks and ignores Levi, and continues his task at hand. 

“Sir, please keep resting. I am almost done.” 

“No point, I’m already awake,” Levi slowly starts to sit up. Eren hears him open and close one of the desk drawers. The knife, he figures. “What’s all this?”

Eren looks up and follows Levi’s gaze.

“Oh, um. I got a slice of pie while I was out. I figured you must be all kinds of hungry after working all night — Don’t deny it, I saw you skip dinner again. With all due respect, Sir, you really should eat more.” With all that muscle on him, Eren knows that Levi must be raiding the kitchen at night. Other wise he’d be skin and bones with how much he skips dinner. Still, eating at irregular times, and not having full meals. It really wasn’t good for his health. 

Oh, god, he sounded just like his mother. With all this chiding, he was really giving her a run for her money.

“I know you aren’t too keen on sweets, Sir, so I brought a few other things in case you didn’t like it. I’ll just sweep quickly and then I’ll pour you some tea.”

As he grabs the broom and starts sweeping the floor, Levi throws him questioning glances. 

“Time?”

“Around twenty-two-hundred, sir.”

“Ain’t you supposed to still be out, right now?”

Eren stops in his tracks, but still keeps his eyes on the mess he was sweeping.

“I got bored.”

“The _festival_ was getting boring? And what, you’d rather spend it in here with an old man. Like you do all the damn time?”

“Sir, you’re plenty young. And, yes. This is much more enjoyable.” Eren frowned and turned towards Levi. “Unless, you’d rather I leave?” He said a little softer, realizing he might be unwanted company. 

“No. Just making sure you know what you’re missing.”

“Well, I’m quite sure, Sir. Honestly, I spent the whole night wishing I would’ve stayed with you…” Blood rushes to his face, and he goes back to his sweeping. Why’d he have to say that outloud. 

“Eren,” Levi starts, saying Eren’s name in that same way he said earlier. Full of more fondness than Eren would ever know. 

“Sir, our tea must be getting cold. I’ll hury—” He says, trying to change the subject as he nearly finishes sweeping.

“I’m still capable of pouring tea, Yeager. No need for you to wait on me. Take it easy.”

“I wasn’t trying to imply that... I just want to do something for you.”

“You’re always doing things for me, kid. Tonight’s no different.”

Eren opened his mouth to respond but his head felt empty. He swallowed thickly. His captain’s words hung in the air as he tried to find his composure. He wasn’t sure what it was about tonight that had made him feel so tongue tied and nervous. Was it just holiday nerves or that he still hasn’t told his captain about the opportunity he’s been offered. Usually, his talks with Captain Levi went smoothly. A calm banter tossed back and forth like a ball. Now he just felt like a new recruit again.

He shoveled the last of the dirt and shavings into the bin. 

“Captain...We’re partners of sorts, yes? And, despite you being my superior, you’ve been adamant to make sure you treat me as an equal. So, I think, we’re supposed to want to do things for each other. Take care of each other.” He walks over by Levi as he says this. At the last of his words he sits in the chair across from his captain, the desk separating them. 

With a shallow breath he continues, “And tonight’s special. This whole week is. And, I, um, wanted to spend it with you. So, please let me do this, and just rest for tonight.”

Levi sighs into his chair, the blanket Eren had put over his shoulders still around him. A beat passes. Eren’s heart beats a little faster waiting for Levi’s response. With a finger on his temple, Levi gestures towards the tray with his other hand. Eren would’ve thought him mad, if not for the playful glint in his eye. He had just poured his heart out and now here was his captain holding in laughter. 

With a fake pout, Eren poured Levi a cup and only a little bit for himself — As he’d already made himself a blend of sweet coconut milk, spices, and rum (with an extra bottle on the side, in case he needed a stronger drink). Really, he would’ve liked to have made the tea their squad had picked, but most of them had left to be with their families. He’s sure they would want to be here when Captain tried it. So he settled for their usual black tea. Captain’s plain, and his with milk and a small spoon of glistening honey. His sweet tooth would be sated tonight. 

He moved on to plating their food. Captain Levi drank his tea, as he watched Eren work. Thick savory deer stew side by side with white rice, buttery dark rye bread, salted nuts, grapes, sliced apples topped with cinnamon, stuffed cabbage leaves, and of course the slice of pie Eren had gotten. A small feast for the two of them. Whoever had worked in the kitchen tonight had really gone all out for the celebrations. 

The dark sugared berries oozed out of the pie as he sliced it in half. The filling dripped off of the knife as he picked it up and set one half on another plate. Some of the sticky substance had trickled onto his fingers. He licked each finger one at a time. It was only when he got to his last one that he remembered he had company. His captain had stopped drinking and simply held his cup near his lips. Like he had froze. His gaze was still focused on the finger that Eren still had in his mouth.

With a _pop_ , Eren quickly removed his pinky from his mouth. He was sure his face must’ve been completely flushed. He shoved his hands into his lap.

“Oh, sorry Captain! I’ll just go wash my hands.” It was one of those things that was considered impolite but his mom hadn’t minded him doing. It was a sign that he’d loved her food. So he really hadn’t really gotten out of the habit. His grandma always had told him he’s not meant for polite society. But she’d also thought polite society was overrated, so that was more of a compliment on her part.

Levi visibly swallowed before he said, “No need.”

“Are you sure?”

He mumbled a yes and asked Eren to pour some of the rum into his tea. Once Eren did so, Levi downed the drink in one go.

Hesitantly, Eren started eating his food. One sip and the stew had made his mouth water. Still hot, despite all his and Levi’s delaying, the steam that wafted off of it warmed his face. It’s comforting flavor reminded him more of something that he’d cook with his mother back home. The veggies absorbed the broth perfectly, and the deer was juicy tender.

His bowl half finished, he noticed Levi hadn’t even touched his.

“Captain Levi? Is everything alright?” Eren said, in between bites of rye bread. “Do you not like the food?”

“You told me to rest, no? That you’d take responsibility for tonight.”

“Yes, but I don’t see what that has to do with the food, Sir.”

“Being responsible for me, means making sure I eat.”

“I —” And then it dawned on Eren what Levi meant. Oh. He should’ve known that Levi wouldn’t have gone with this so easily. His captain was, if nothing, a stubborn ass. He narrowed his eyes. Captain be damned, he wouldn’t let Levi win. “You’re right, Sir. I should’ve realized.”

Eren had hoped Levi would’ve looked a little surprised, but he looked unaffected. Really, he wouldn’t have minded hand-feeding his captain, if he had asked under normal circumstances. But to use it as a way to get Eren to back down…

After moving his chair so he was side by side with Levi, he started with the stew. He scooped some of it up, making sure to get a good amount of veggies and meat. The angle was a little awkward. He had to turn from the table to his captain for every bite, and some of it kept spilling onto the hand he held under the spoon. And as irked as he was with his captain, he didn’t want to spill on his clothes. Levi’s unwavering gaze didn’t help. It would’ve been better if — 

Oh. He had a great idea. Maybe his best one yet. 

“What’s with that creepy fucking smile?”

“This seating position is a little uncomfortable. I think it’d be easier for the both of us if I sat somewhere else.” Eren pushed himself out of the chair.

“Oh? Where would that — Hah,” Levi’s brain seemed to stop functioning once Eren straddled his lap. Now flush against the desk and Levi, Eren turned briefly to grab one of the bowls making the captain groan softly in discomfort. Or what Eren had assumed was discomfort. 

Bowl in one hand, Eren picked up one of the grapes with the other and slowly moved it towards Levi’s lips. Still dazed, Levi made no move to open his mouth. Letting out a harsh breath through his nose, the captain grips the side of the chair trying to compose himself. 

He looks up and meets Eren’s gaze. Through gritted teeth he finally says, “Give a guy a warning next time.”

Now there’s the reaction Eren was looking for.

With a grin, Eren pops the rejected grape into his mouth. After chomping on his grape and with Levi’s hungry eyes on him, he plucks another from the bowl.

This time, Levi takes the grape and Eren becomes acutely aware of the position he was in. His captain and his chests pressed against each other. The heat of Levi’s mouth around his fingers. And he’s pretty sure he was sitting on his captain’s crotch. His body tenses, but he doesn’t look away. One wrong move, and he could end up accidentally grinding on Levi. The man that was his captain, squad leader, boss, comrade, partner. The man whose dark hair was messy from just waking. Whose hand was now on Eren’s lower back, just slightly, to keep him steady. 

This wasn’t good.

Levi’s hot tongue grazed against Eren’s fingers, causing him to suddenly jerk and retract his fingers from Levi’s mouth a little too fast. The desk rattles and the plates and trays clink against each other. Now he felt like the one whose brain stopped functioning.

“Ah, shit. Sorry. Um, I just got a little surprised. I’m very sorry, Sir.”

“ _Hey_ ,” Levi cups Eren’s cheek softly. “I was just messing with you, yeah? We can go back to back to eating like normal. Okay?”

Eren nodded and clumsily removed himself from his captain's lap. 

The rest of their meal went on without incident, albeit a slight awkwardness at what happened. Neither mentioned it, but Eren found his body stiffening and flushing under Levi’s gaze. His captain, of course, tried his best to lighten the mood with some particularly bad jokes.

With the food gone, and the events of tonight rushing through his brain, tiredness gnawed at him. Eren quickly excuses himself, taking the tray of dishes with him. Before he closed the door, his captain mumbled something about taking a shower. It was incomprehensible enough that Eren wasn’t quite sure which one of them he was saying needed to take one. Just in case, he decides he’d take one.

❆

**He rolled up** his sleeves and scrubbed and cleaned the dishes with an unmatched efficiency. He could feel Hange’s curious stare on him as he plunged one of the plates into the soapy water. Most of the soldiers and workers were either out or passed out drunk by now. Really, he’d thought Hange would’ve been one of the latter. Other than a tipsy ‘Hello!’, they hadn’t said anything to him since he entered the huge kitchen. He resisted the urge to sneak a look at what they were doing.

With a soft clank he put away the last dish. When he turned to finally leave, Hange said “Late night snack, hmm?” Their words slightly slurred. He swore he saw their glasses shine.

“Commander, maybe you should head to bed, _hmm_?” he said, trying to steer the conversation away from anything dealing with him and his captain. Talking to Hange about it when they’re sober was already embarrassing and filled with innuendos. Drunk Hange? Yeah, he couldn’t handle that right now. He grabbed a glass from one of the cupboards and started filling it with water.

“Are _you_ heading to bed? In _your_ room?” 

“Are you asking as my Commander, or as a nosy friend?” He handed the glass to Hange.

“Which one will get you to give me some info?”

“You know more than anyone, that there is nothing going on between me and Captain Levi.”

“Ugh, yes. And that’s so incredibly boring. When you came to me asking to get Levi a new mattress — You’re welcome by the way — I thought it was going to be for, crazy, wild sex. Not helping with his insomnia. You’re boring. You both are. And domestic. In a very boring way.”

The mattress. The second gift he had gotten for Levi. He had gotten Hange to help him without much prodding. They had managed to sneak it in without Levi’s knowledge. Though, he’s pretty sure suspected something was up when Hange sent him away on a wild goose chase for a whole day so they could do it. He wouldn’t talk to Hange for a week. 

Hange dramatically chugs their water, and then continues, “Imagine my incredible disappointment finding out that you spend every night in his quarters _only_ sleeping. And not even in the same bed.” 

Hange starts on a small rant about Levi’s desk sleeping habit, but before they get out of hand he interrupts and says, “He told you that?” 

His captain hadn’t bothered confirming or denying the rumors about their relationship to others in the past. Though considering his close relationship with their commander, and their persistence, he shouldn’t be surprised. 

“Yessiree! It takes a lot to get that man drunk, but when he is, he considerably loosens up. Can’t get him to shut up about you. And people think I talk to much —” 

“About me?” he chokes out. The captain talking about _Eren_ while he was drunk? It must be an exaggeration on Hange’s part.

“Yes, yes, keep up!” Hange waved their hand, “Wait, what was I saying?”

He sighed. “Commander, I’m going to grab someone to escort you to your room.”

“I’m fine!”

Despite their insistence, Eren did go and find a random recruit wandering the halls who looked sober enough to go get them. 

Captain Levi must be wondering what’s taking him so long. With a quick stop to his room, he rushes to the public showers. His mind was rushing as he washed himself. About leaving Paradis, spending the next few days with Levi. And he definitely tried to keep any thoughts about sitting on Levi’s lap to a minimum. He wouldn’t think about Levi’s hands on him. Or his tongue — 

God, he was tired.

His hair was still wet when he got back to Levi’s quarters. After his usual three knocks, unlike earlier, he hears Levi mumble ‘come in’. He turns the knob and the door opens with a soft click. Before entering, Eren peaks his head in. A noise that sounded embarrassingly like a weird combination of a choke and a squeak escaped him.

Levi flicked his head up at the noise and raised an eyebrow. The captain sat on his couch, clad in his undergarments. Which in his case, meant only a pair of underwear that didn’t leave much to the imagination. Oh, Eren hadn’t meant to look down so low. And for so long. He peeled his gaze away. 

This wasn’t even remotely the first time he had seen his captain undressed. Hell, they had seen each other naked more times than he could count. Shame was something he had to get rid of quickly once he joined the corps. Sure, he’d often have to stop himself from fonding over his captain’s impressive form and muscles. But that was out of appreciation, and slight jealousy before he had gained his own — Not this. Not feeling embarrassed at merely seeing him like this.

Damn Hange getting in his head. 

He quickly went into the room, as to not embarrass himself anymore by just standing on the threshold. 

“You okay, Yeager?”

“Yes! Just a little surprised,” He scratched the back of his head. “I could’ve been another soldier, Sir.”

“Yeah, well anyone else wouldn’t risk knocking on my door so —” Levi suddenly hissed in pain. He gripped his thigh and bowed his head. 

Eren rushed over to his captain’s side and kneeled on the floor by his leg. “Sir, are you okay?”

“Fine,” he said through gritted teeth. “Just phantom pains again.” He took a deep breath and leaned his head back. 

Eren frowned and laid his hand over Levi’s. “Do you need me to massage it?” He said, referencing Levi’s leg that had been amputated from the knee down. Really he should be used to this. It had been commonplace. But he still got worried every time. 

“Another day, kid,” He softly held the hand that Eren had placed on top of his. “You look like you’re going to pass out. Go get some sleep.”

Eren’s hands relaxed into Levi’s grip. He sighed. There was no use arguing about it. But his captain also looked like he needed some sleep too.

“Okay,” he resigned. “But, I want you to lay down with me.”

“Eren, you know — ” 

“Trust me, okay?” He gave his best wide eyed look. Levi gripped his hand tighter. “Please? Just for a little bit?”

A beat passed.

“You look like a wet puppy.”

❆

**“You having nightmares or something?”** Levi jokes, once he gets to the bed with Eren’s help. Normally, with crutches or his prosthetic and years of practice, Levi can get around accessible places by himself just fine. But with his pain flaring up and his prosthetic already taken off, they decide just to do it this way.

Now that Levi was seated on the edge, Eren crawled over to his side of the bed. “Ah, no. Nothing like that.” He says looking over his shoulder. Still on all fours, he pats the pillow next to him, “Come on, it’s time for bed.”

“Well, when you say it looking like that,” Levi mumbles. His captain uncovers his side of the bed and lays down. Eren joins him.

Neither of them said anything. Only the creaks and moans of the room could be heard. One dim candle is all that stopped them from mistaking each other for being asleep.

“Is it better? The mattress, it was too soft, right?” Eren finally says. Levi had told Eren bits and pieces of his past in the underground. He may not have known everything, but he did figure that Levi must’ve gotten used to sleeping on hard surfaces. 

After sleeping on the hard bunk beds during his training days, he understood somewhat. Obviously, it wasn’t uncomfortable to the extent that it was for his captain, but the previous mattress had been like sleeping on a cloud. No support, just so soft that it felt like he’d fall straight through it and onto the floor. A perk of being so high ranked, he guessed. Most, but not all, of the higher ranked soldiers probably grew up in Wall Sina or Rose. The sort of luxury they’d be used to.

“Yeah...it’s not bad.” Levi said, sounding more relaxed than Eren had heard in a while. Mission accomplished. 

“I’m glad.” Eren breathed a sigh of relief.

“Hey, is this what you and Hange were being so fucking weird about a couple weeks ago?” Laughs escape Eren’s lips. Ignoring him, Levi continues, “I’m still pissed at them for that, by the way. Nice mattress or not, they sent me to the shittest place on this island.”

A part of Eren wants to ask what the “shittest” place on the island is, but his mind goes back to what Hange had said earlier. His heart hurts.

“Captain, if you manage to sleep better after tonight…Well, I can go back to sleeping in my room if you’d like.”

“Huh? What are you talking about? This bed is more yours than mine. If anything, you can kick my ass out if I ruin your beauty sleep.” 

“You sure?”

“More than sure, kid. Now, go to sleep.”

“Okay,” Eren mumbles. Before he closes his eyes, he whispers “Captain, I’d like to spend the rest of the holidays with you, if that’s alright. I much prefer not celebrating at all, than to leave you.”

He falls asleep before he could hear Levi’s response.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [TUMBLR](https://bloodlied.tumblr.com/) \- [RIVAERE COLLECTION](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/best_rivaere)
> 
> thank you for reading! I am still working on all the good men (and waiting till i have at least 4 chapters written before i post for it again) but i wanted a little break to write some canonverse. and i've learned my lesson about posting shorter fics — I already have the second chapter written for this. I'll release it once the third one is done.
> 
> anyways, comments really do help keep me motivated! I would love to hear your thoughts, theories, questions, keysmashes, or whatever was on your mind while reading this. You're all so sweet and I'm thankful for all the support I've received. oop and the quote at the beginning is by emily dickinson


	2. this is the deepest blue;

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Today was supposed to be a good day. He had woken with his captain’s breath tickling his neck and his knuckles grazing his back at each exhale. The light touch still managed to make his skin tingle. He sighed into his pillow. He was content, for now, with this.” 
> 
> [or alternatively: intricate_rituals.docx]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing much to say other than that I imagine that the song Carla sings in this is ‘[Don’t Smoke In Bed](https://youtu.be/ou8NZSPXMQM)’. I originally included the lyrics between paragraphs, but while I love songfics, the vibe just didn’t work for this. And instead of a playlist there’s one song that really encapsulates this fic for me, that being ‘[A Rose In Spanish Harlem](https://youtu.be/dhVySEJbU2s)’ by one of my favorite movie composers, Nicholas Britell.

**EREN**  
21st

**Snowflakes** weave through the air outside as he looks on though the only slightly frosty window. Everything was covered in soft sprinkles of white: the cobblestone walkways, carriages and their horses, curled dark eyelashes, the heavens, hatless hair of those who couldn’t be bothered enough to care; what lies underneath becoming a little more known as the snow melted and then fell again. Not quite cold enough to stay and not warm enough to leave. 

The rhythmic sound of his knife slicing and thudding against wood, in that moment, made him feel at peace. A day like this, one where it couldn’t decide what it wanted; snowy or not — played again and again in his mind. Instead of him slicing vegetables, it had been his mother. 

Eren, many heads shorter and eyes a lot bigger, had watched her with an unfocused gaze and his head lying on the counter in his crossed arms. Her with her dark circles, long curls resting on her shoulder with a ribbon lazily tied at the end, and small smile, she mumbled the most bitter-sweetest song. Sweet due to her voice, bitter due to the words. He still knew it by heart.

Her voice didn’t flow out smooth and refined like a singer’s would. It was clipped, filled with voice cracks and with a sort of humanity that only could come from the soft words of a parent singing to their child as they cooked. Like grains of brown sugar, textured but melted on the tongue with a thick sweetness. He’d always preferred brown sugar to honey.

He wouldn’t say it then, but he was lonely. The kind of lonely that still tugged him when he remembered it. Independent was written in veins, but that winter was particularly rough.

This had been long before he had met his brother — half brother — who unbeknownst to him existed and was an ocean away. He’d still been reeling from the death of his father. Armin and his parents had left the walls once the leaves turned red. They wouldn’t be back till summer. Mikasa was stuck in her home in the mountains; her family unable to visit with her mother carrying a child and Mikasa’s barely a year old brother causing enough chaos. He no longer had a father who could bring him there and his own mother had been carrying a child of her own.

Like back in that small lonely kitchen all those years ago, he remembered what his grandmother's words. _We’re all made of stardust_ ; A belief Magnolia’s had passed down from generation to generation.

 _“No baby, you’re not only made of stardust,_ **_you_ ** _are a child of the stars.”_ She had told him, sometime before she died. _“Closer than all of us could ever wish to be. That’s why your mind is always so wild and far away — You’re trying to get closer. That’s why your heart aches so bad.”_

In the lonely kitchen, with his lonely mother, and his lonely heart, his insatiable wanderlust ran wild. He wanted to go and run off into the snowy outdoors. Never comeback. Kill the loneliness, and the worthlessness, and fill it with sights of things he’d never seen before. He also wanted to stay in the comforting embrace of his mother’s arms, filled with warm food they’d make together, and eased by her raspy singing.

His concerns were no longer those of a child in mourning. Though somewhere in him, he was always mourning his father. Now, his concerns were that of a soldier mourning the potential lost time between him and his captain if he were to leave to sate that wanderlust embedded in him. The truth was: he was always lonely before that winter long ago. It only had exacerbated it. And he still is. Sometimes.

He’d been lonely surrounded by friends, with family, with strangers. Sometimes in his captain’s quarters when he let his mind wander, he’d feel lonely there too.

Sometimes his imagination got ahead of him and he couldn’t help but wonder, what if him and his captain had met sooner? Maybe his words wouldn’t get caught in his throat when he tried to tell Levi. He’d have gotten more time with him.

_..._

_He perked up at seeing the figure that passed outside the window, and the biggest smile he had all day graced his face. His mother looked up from her chopping and followed his gaze. Quickly, he climbed onto the counter top, ignoring his mother’s half-hearted laughter filled attempt to get his attention, and rapped on the window. Levi, who had been talking to another soldier, turned his gaze towards the noise._

_As their eyes meet, the man gives him a smile, the kind reserved for Eren, and a wave. Eren shoves open the window, and cups his hands around his mouth._

_“Mister Levi! Want to come over for dinner?”_

_“Ask your mother, kid!” Levi yelled back._

_“Ma’, can Captain Levi join us for dinner?”_

_“Yes,” she said. The words barely left her mouth before Eren repeated the words loudly to Levi. Trying to pretend to be at least a little bit mad, she added “Just close this damn window, baby. You can talk to him when he’s here.”_

_With a huff, he complied and closed the damn window. He climbed down the counter and rushed over to their front door. When he started putting on his coat, thick scarf and boots, his mother coughed, waiting for an explanation. Criss crossed on the floor with his second shoe halfway on, he looked up and gave her one of his best puppy eyed looks._

_“Ma’, may I please go out by the captain? Please. Ma’am.”_

_She tsks and goes back to working putting the leeks into the stew. “You may. But while you’re out there have Captain Levi take you over by Mrs. Goya’s place. Get me some more venison. I’ll pay him back once y’all get back. And no making that poor man buy you anything extra. He spoils you rotten.”_

_“Yes, Ma’m! Love you,” he says as he slips on his shoe. He nearly trips as he gets up and rushes over to the door. Before he can turn it his mother interrupts him, again._

_“Aren’t you forgetting something?”_

_“No.”_

_“Yeah, well the tips of your ears say otherwise,” she says not looking away from stirring the pot._

_He walked back over to her side, his feet making small thuds against the wooden floors. She leaned down as he went on his tippy-toes, and left a small peck to his forehead. His face felt heated, and he was glad Mister Levi wasn’t here. His Ma’ already embarrassed him enough last time he was over._

_They said their goodbyes and I love yous, and his mother finally let him leave after a few more warnings, kisses, and light ear tugging. Her affectionate and cautious ways with him had been increased tenfold after his fathers passing. He never felt any real annoyance at it anymore. He liked keeping up the act, just for a sense of normalcy._

_Finally out the door, Eren ran down the stone steps and ran down the street towards Levi. When he spotted him, he was in a deep conversation with the blonde-haired soldier from before. He could tell enough about the uniforms that the other soldier was lower ranked. Not being able to resist his curiosity, he hid behind a cart filled with hay._

_To his disappointment, he couldn’t make out much of their hushed whispers with the bustle of the streets. He briefly heard the word ‘Titan’ and then “He’s still alive”. Titan? All he could think of was the goddess Ymir and her other form. What it had to do with the SC and whatever person they mentioned, he didn’t know._

_The conversation quieted down, and he heard the footsteps get further away._

_“Eren, you can stop hiding now.” Levi said. With wide eyes, Eren popped his head out from behind the cart._

_“How’d you know?”_

_“Your footsteps aren’t exactly the quietest. You sounded like if a stampede of horses was contained in an eight year old,” the captain said as he walked over to Eren._

_Eren found Levi’s reasoning unlikely, as he snuck up on plenty of people without them knowing. Though he supposed that Levi wasn’t a regular person. And, well, really Eren couldn’t always tell when Levi was messing with him. He wasn’t sure if it was his “inability to read social cues or situations” as Armin once said about him or if it was Levi’s “inability to give social cues” as Armin had also once said._

_Levi ruffles his hair, an action that if it hadn’t been Levi would’ve caused him to kick the offender in the shin. But since it was Levi in question, he merely lets himself enjoy it._

_“What’re you out here for? You think I was going to skip out on you?”_

_“I’m tired of staying indoors.”_

_“I’m sure you are,” Holding his hand out, Levi asked, “Where to kid?”_

_..._

“Eren!” 

Even in this imaginary world he didn’t get enough time with Levi.

“Huh?”

Levi had grabbed the knife away from him and inspected Eren’s hand. He had cut his palm. A small cut, not deep enough to worry, but drops of blood still flowed out. Each drop left small splashes of red onto the once pristine floors. Once his captain had determined the severity, he’d dragged him to the otherside of the kitchen. The little veins of blood that lined the knife nearly joined the tiny puddles on the floor before Levi put it in the sink. Along with putting Eren’s hand under the tap.

Neither of them said anything as the soapy water ran off of Eren’s wound and into the drain. After a moment, with a squeak of the turning metal and the gurgle from the pipes, Levi turned the tap’s handle; the cool comfort of the water replaced with a slight sting from the cut. As Levi handed a clean rag for Eren to press onto his palm, Eren’s distant gaze was met with Levi’s frown and a question in his eyes.

His captain only frowned even more when Eren opened his mouth but said nothing. With a mumbled explanation of going to find a first aid kit, Levi left him alone with his thoughts.

This happened sometimes, flashes of memories and daydreams or thoughts that consumed him to the point where fiction took over his reality. Almost like he soul detached from his body. His mind in the stars and sky, as his grandmother would’ve said. This wasn’t an anomaly, his mother had told him, but it’d happened more often than it should. It was something he was supposed to grow out of, but he’d just gotten better at making sure it didn’t happen in front of people. Levi, being no exception.

Today was supposed to be a good day. He had woken with his captain’s breath tickling his neck and his knuckles grazing his back at each exhale. The light touch still managed to make his skin tingle. He sighed into his pillow. He was content, for now, with this. With him and Levi so close, but their skin still separated by inches and cloth. He buried the small urge to press his back into Levi’s chest — burying it deep as he could. Deep down where other desires he wouldn’t let himself have; covered in sand and dust for years.

He grasped the covers and removed them from his body and pushed himself away from his captain’s light touch and out of bed as quietly as possible. The wood floor had creaked under his weight and he paused for a moment. He looked back at Levi’s form; it was as peaceful as before, and his hair messier than he'd ever let anyone see. Then he’d done what he usually does after waking up in another man's bed: get dressed and get out unseen. He’d felt a twinge of guilt at comparing the two instances; His captain and meaningless sex.

Eren closed his captain’s door, keeping the handle turned till he knew it’d make no sound. He was a man on a mission: surprising his captain with breakfast. And then when he got to the kitchen and started cooking, he’d felt like he heard his mother singing softly. That’s what had made his mind wander. It was only now, sitting at the kitchen island, that he realized it had been his own voice. Sometimes where she ended and he started, began to blur. Maybe that’s what his fathers death had done to them.

She had remarried, as most people do when their spouses died years ago. And she was happy, he could tell that much. She loved her new spouse just as much and in a different way unique to them. But death? It sticks onto you. Pulls at you. Makes you ake. Tempts you, its bottomless ocean reflecting what lies in its depths. An unrelenting emptiness that someone is no longer there.

On the kinds of days where the land is covered in fog, the grass is dewy, the air smells like you’re a kid again, he only sees his mother in the mirror. His jaw may be sharper, his build more muscular, thicker, taller, more defined. But it didn’t matter. He had gained everything of mother, none of his father, even her eyes in every way except color. On those days, he wishes he had brown eyes.

She’s near — only a wall away, but he misses his mother — and his father. He spent most of his life with her, and it still wasn’t enough. But it’s never enough, is it? He spends day and night at Levi’s side, and that isn’t enough either. He wants and wants, but never lets himself have.

He’d only noticed Levi had returned when he felt a hand cusp his shoulder and fingers lightly digging into his skin and a thumb rubbing back and forth. His shirt prevented any real contact, but his skin where the hand gripped him felt like it was on fire. He didn’t need to turn to know that it was his captain — he’d know that hand anywhere — but he did anyway. Levi’s eyebrows were deeply furrowed and his mouth in a thin line. 

“You still here?” his captain asked, removing his hand from Eren’s shoulder. Clarifying what he meant, he taps Eren on the middle of his forehead. The gesture made Eren laugh, and at that, Levi’s worried face disappeared.

“I’m still here.”

Levi said nothing, and instead set the dark green metal box on the island. In large copper letters ‘FIRST AID KIT: GENERAL PURPOSE’ and the scouts’ insignia next to it. The hand that was just on him moments ago now unlatched the box, while the other hand gripped the sides to keep it steady.

With a small thud, Levi carefully set the heavy top of it on the counter. The inside of the first aid kit was made of wood. It reminded him of the wooden box filled with carving tools he’d gotten Levi last night. And in that moment he wanted to rush and get it from under his bed upstairs, so he could give it to Levi right now. But he resisted, and instead stayed still so his captain could work on his cut.

First, Levi grabbed one of the many glass bottles secured by a sort of velvet padding and a leather latch. The bottle was something he’d seen often in his parent’s home; hundreds of tonics strewn around the house. Though in this case, the bottle was filled with an antibiotic salve.

A sort of nostalgia tugged at him. His father had been a doctor and his mother worked with herbalism — something that had caused them to butt heads on more than one occasion, never more serious than mild jokes. _Old fashioned_ , his father had said. Occult, even, since his mother thought herself a bit of a pythoness. Grisha, while a devout subject of Ymir, wasn’t one for healing with miracle cures and divination. His mother argued that Ymir doesn’t work miracles; she’s simply borrowing from Ymir’s gift — the island.

Levi poured a dollop of the antibiotic onto his own hand, and it came out with a honey like consistency. Something about the sight made him dig his nails into his uninjured palm, trying to prevent his mind from going further into unallowed territory.

Eren turned away as Levi took off the rag from his hand and rubbed the salve onto his cut. He was not one to flinch away from blood or wounds, but he couldn’t let the touching get to him. Eren loudly swallowed, as Levi tenderly held his hand and wrapped the gauze around his palm.

“You want to talk about what just happened.”

Thumbing his now gauze covered palm, a little unsure he said “After we eat?”

“Okay,” and then after a moment Levi hesitantly said “There’s something I have for you. I planned on waiting till later tonight to give it to you. But now, it’s best if I don’t wait.”

“Oh?” Eren said, his voice pitched a little higher than normal.

Despite his friends insisting otherwise, him receiving gifts from Levi wasn’t commonplace — Their attempt at proving he’s Levi’s favorite. In his eyes, praise, extra rations, letting him retire to bed early, clementines every Monday because Levi hated them, didn’t count as his captain going out of his way to do something special. Kind gestures, yes, but surely he wasn’t unique in being on the receiving end of Levi’s kindness. Often these things had been given to him on a whim, casually, and without warning.

“It’s in my room. Don’t go near any knives. I’ll be back.” Levi warned as he walked out of the kitchen.

“Yessir.” He said, doing a sort of a mock salute; trying to hide how much this all had affected him.

Eren felt himself reeling as he stared at the door as it closed shut.

The warmth of Levi’s calloused hand on his shoulder was still on his mind and the tenderness in Levi’s wrapping of his hand. Slowly he raised his own and placed it in the spot where Levi touch had been minutes earlier. His chest felt a little tighter at the action. Closing his eyes, he pretended his hand was Levi’s. Levi’s thumb had softly grazed back and forth on the fabric of Eren’s shirt as he did it. The memory of how the touch felt against his skin made him shiver slightly.

He wanted Levi to mold him with those hands, touch him, like he did his carvings. Submit to Levi’s hands. Bend to his captian’s will, not out of force or obligation, but an innate need. Bare his neck; A symbol than any sort of real means of Levi having any real control over him.

His heart was in conflict at the both new and old realization of his feelings for his captain. When had it happened? For years, his thoughts of Levi never went past respect or admiration. Some part of him knew that he’d probably had felt this way for at least a couple months. Which to some, might have seemed late, considering they’d worked closely for years. But the fact that he felt this way at all, meant a lot to him.

Since his trainee days, he’d seemed like the only one who hadn’t thought of romance; him always focused on his next goal instead of a relationship. He’d messed around with other men, sure. Late night celebrations and gatherings made him particularly likely to end up in another's bed. It was great, usually, but fleeting. His mind, like a switch, turned completely apathetic to repeating the previous night's activities with the same person once he awoke. It’s why he’s avoided any advances from fellow scouts.

Yes, avoiding relationships sexual or romantic with fellow scouts was for the best. And that included his captain, on the rare chance that his feelings were returned. He tried to shake all thoughts arguing otherwise, and tried to focus on the task at hand. There was a reason he had come in the kitchen: making breakfast for two. Technically it was lunch but that wouldn’t stop him from pretending otherwise.

They’d woken up late, him and his captain, so the headquarters were now nearly empty. He got reign of the kitchen. Levi had said not go near any knives, but he hadn’t said anything about resuming his cooking. He was thankful he’d already finished cutting most of the vegetables he needed before his accident. Scavenging through the drawers he found a box of matches and lit both of the stoves and once ready: turned on the gas.

He got to reheating the leftover rice, cooking the venison, making a sort of gravy from pork drippings he found, and throwing the black beans and veggies in a pan. Not the plain breakfast that he and other mid-rank officers were used to eating, but fuck ‘em. It was a special time of year, and none of the higher ups would miss a little food.

“Stealing rations, I see.” Levi said, while hovering behind Eren.

“What kind of person would I be if I let my captain eat stale bread and cheese for breakfast.”

“ _Your_ captain has eaten worse in his life in these shitty walls,” Internally, Eren tried to blame the heat coming from the pans for his increasingly warm face. Definitely not his captain — from _Captain_ Levi, pointing out him saying ‘my captain’. 

“You’re stirring a little rough, Eren. You need any help from _your_ captain?”

“Pan. Butter. Sweet coconut milk. Brown sugar,” Eren sputtered out, while he stirred a little less rough and seasoned food a little too vigorously.

“For this?” Levi questioned, gesturing to the very savory food Eren was currently cooking.

“For the oatmeal that you’re going to be making, _Captain_.”

“Aye aye, _Yeager_.”

“I thought you had a present for me?”

“After we eat. And who said it was a present?”

“What else could it be?”

“A termination letter.”

“And give up the only person whose even close to being as anal as you are about cleaning?” Levi only tsked at that, and began looking for the items Eren requested.

“How the fuck does anyone find anything in here?”

“I imagine it’s because it’s their job to know where things are.” Levi tsked, again, and as to not let him suffer any longer, Eren listed off where he could find everything. He paused, then quickly explained, “I made quick friends with the cooks after I stopped Sasha from harassing them while they cooked every morning.”

“How’d you manage that?”

“I told Ymir I’d do her laundry if she kept Sasha distracted.”

Levi only snorted and finally joined him over by the stove. Eren resisted the temptation to intervene, and only commented when his captain asked for measurements. Eren usually went off instincts for cooking and rarely used recipes. His mother rarely did too and he watched and helped her enough that her techniques became his. Which also meant his cooking was prone to not always turn out the best when his experimentation went too far. 

And Levi? As he has explained to Eren many times, he’d much rather just grab an apple, cheese, and bread than cook. But if he did cook, he followed measurements and recipes to a fault. The food more often than not, while tasty, was utterly generic. 

Out of the corner of his eye he sees his captain scoop up some of the oatmeal full saucepan. “How’s this?” Levi said, bringing the spoonful of the mixture near Eren’s mouth. Eren turns and leans forward towards the spoon and happily puts his lips around Levi’s offering. The thick oatmeal was sweet enough and the texture almost perfect. 

“Good, but needs cloves and nutmeg.” He kept the other more experimental ingredients he wanted to add to himself.

They continued to cook in silence, other than Levi asking Eren what he needed to do next since he finished the oatmeal. The scaping of pans, the gravy bubbling, his quiet hums, and all the aromas made Eren almost feel like he was at home instead of HQ. And with his captain only inches away and the occasional bumping into each other, it felt like _their_ home. 

A home on a prairie with a wife and a gaggle of children always sounded like a big joke to him. More of an aspiration from the old times that some tried to project onto him. It worked out for his mother, but for him? Wife was certainly off the table, but even with a husband instead, the quiet life in one place isn’t for him. He wasn’t sure he could ask anyone of that. Even most of the soldiers here want to settle down eventually. 

But a home with Levi? Or better yet, a life with Levi? Thoughts like this were too much. Eren’s mind felt all out of whack. 

The food now done, he started to plate the food and set it at the only table in the kitchen. It was small and round, with only two chairs. More intimate than sitting in an empty mess hall.

Rice, topped with the shredded venison and a thick gravy on one side, black beans and veggies on the other. Then two small bowls of oatmeal with slices of apple on top. Tea of course, and some grapes….Memories of the stunt he pulled last night resurfaced along with the urge to cover his face. His grip around the table tightens tries to regain his composure. 

Levi slides his own hand on top of Eren’s, and like earlier, with the other he taps on Eren’s forehead. “You still here?”

Giving Levi a small smile he says, “I’m still here.” 

The heat of his captain’s hand left him and a shiver went down his spine at the loss. 

Levi sits down, his legs crossed and leaning back into the chair, and he gestures to the seat across from himself. Once Eren’s bottom touches the cushion, Levi starts drinking his tea in his particular Levi type of way; fingers around the top. The sense of familiarity of this sight made his heart calm down.

As he’s done a hundred times before, his captain watched Eren as he scooped a small bit of sugar into his tea and then poured milk from the small glass pitcher. When they first met, Eren thought that Levi would’ve hated the way he drank tea. Sweet and diluted by milk. In reality, he hadn’t minded at all. 

After months of watching Eren choke down plain tea, in an effort to impress his new captain, Levi told him to put sugar and milk in both of theirs. He remembers the distinct twitching of his captain’s eyebrow at every sip he’d take. He also remembered Levi's pleased look as Eren happily drank the sweetened tea. 

‘What you put in your mouth isn’t my problem.’ he later explained. Eren had only choked on his tea a little bit when Levi said that.

It wasn’t till the oatmeal was gone that Levi finally talked.

“Want to tell me about what this whole recent dazed look of yours is about?”

“I’ve just been distracted.”

“Yeah, that much is clear.”

“A lot has been on my mind lately. Thinking a lot about the past. The future. I’m fine. Really. I — ” He hesitated. He knew he should say something about the possibility of him leaving. 

Eren’s mother knew that he’d been thinking about this for a while. ‘A long time coming’, she had said. Armin and even Mikasa had said the same, despite their hesitancy at him leaving. So, really he shouldn’t be this nervous.

“I guess I’m just anxious about the future. My plans for it.” He finally said. A half truth. Once the words left his mouth, Levi had an expression that Eren could only describe as guilt.

“That’s it?” 

“That’s it.” He lied.

After a beat, Levi shoved his hand and into his pockets and pulled out two pieces of paper. Then he slides them across the table. Slowly, Eren picks them up. 

Staring at the tickets in his hand, he read the name written on them slowly as if mesmerized, “ _The Canary’s Song_ ,” his head whipped up to look at Levi. “Like the tragedy? Captain, you got us tickets to a play? And it’s tomorrow?”

“Not just a play. It has acrobatics. Or something.”

“Or something?”

“Yeah, well, I swiped them from Hange. Owed me after all the stunts they pull. Wasn’t clear what exactly makes this one so special, but I didn’t stick around to hear their whole speech.” 

“Swiped as in stole?”

“Swiped as in ‘snatched it out of their hands.’”

“So stealing.”

“More like compensation. They didn’t mind much once they realized I was taking you,” Levi cleared his throat. “I, uh, saw you reading the book a couple times, and thought you’d be interested in the tickets.”

“It’s my favorite story. _Really_ , sir, thank you. I — Have you ever read the story, Captain?” The fact that his captain had noticed that tugged and twisted his heart. He was surprised he got any words out at all. 

“Read, no? I’m not one for children's tales. But, my mother had told me the story once or twice when I was a child. Can’t recall much, though.”

“I’d hardly call it a children's tale, sir — Everyone dies. Except the huntsman.” He’d said the words all too fast. “Regardless, I think you’ll like it.”

“Maybe the huntsman would’ve been better off dead.”

“Maybe. But he didn’t die. I think that in and of itself is a reason to live on. There’s hope still.”

“You really do love that story, don’t you?”

“Ah, well, yes. I’m not sure how to explain it but something about it that feels…right. Not as in good but as in. It fits. Like it’s a part of me.”

He continued, “There’s so many things that you can get from it. Like, the tree. Do you remember the tree in the story, sir? — Well, people don’t like change much. Most won’t admit it, I think, but they like static people. Simple in motivations and actions. Horrid or not. Any questioning of actions unwarranted. So, when someone changes, grows, their roots become too much to handle.

“In the story, they see a sprout; They want it to be a flower, but it’s a tree. Even though the differences are always clear as day. The tree brings you more oxygen, more life, but it’s not as nearly pretty or easy to control.

“Then there’s the whole fatalism vs determinism. Nature vs nurture. Self fulfilling prophecies; If you tell someone so much that they will become something, do they have a choice? The impact we have on others. I would spend countless nights thinking about it. It’s all so…

“Right.” Levi finished for him.

At Levi’s words, having been lost in his thoughts, he’d only just noticed the funny look Levi had been giving him. Face heating up, Eren only got himself to say a soft “What…?” Reaching over, Levi put one finger under his jaw and thumb pressed to his chin, and pulled his face closer.

Eren’s heart beated erratically and his eyes were glued to Levi’s lips. He was so sure his captain was going to stand up, lean over, and press their mouths together. His logical part of his brain was cranking the alarm — No kissing your captain. But he badly wanted it to happen, for his captain to kiss him before he could decide otherwise. To feel the warmth and unbearable heat of his lips and tongue against his own. Taste the sweetness of the grapes they’d just eaten.

Except he didn’t get up, lean over, and make Eren his. Instead, he removed his fingers from Eren’s chin. And then to Eren’s even bigger disappointment, his captain only brushed the backside of his index finger under Eren’s eye. Only then did Eren notice the scorching tears that had been running down his face.

“ _Eren_ , You’re crying.”

❆

 **‘Later tonight, we should watch the fireworks together.’** That was what Levi had told him while they washed dishes — Levi scrubbing and disinfecting and him rinsing and drying. His captain said it in a tone that struck Eren as very solid, practiced, like he’d been waiting to say it the whole time. 

When the words were said, he thought he’d imagined them — he’d been still surprised at himself crying so suddenly. After he registered that yes, indeed, Levi had not only said something but it was about the fireworks, he’d responded “Of course.” He’d been surprised that Levi asked him, yes, but something about it seemed like a natural conclusion. Of course he’d go watch the solstice fireworks with Levi.

The rest of the day seemed like anticipation bubbled under the surface. A book being rushed to its climax. His body had felt like he’d just been drenched in oil and lit with a match. Curled toes and anxious thoughts, as he skimmed over paper after paper, trying to not glance at Levi while they did today’s tasks.

It was all a similar feeling to how he got when he wanted to be touched; an itch in his mind that he couldn’t seem to get rid of. Maybe it was just that he would be spending time with Levi in a way he hadn’t before. Seeing him in a new light. Or it was that he couldn’t stop thinking about them almost kissing.

His captain’s hands anxiously flexed open and clenched, fingers digging into his palms, over and over. Maybe he wasn’t alone in wanting the day to end so it can start. And he wasn’t the only one stealing looks; he’d caught Levi looking at him a number of times. Unlike Eren though, he wouldn’t look away. It’d become a silent competition each time who’d back down. It was always Eren. If it was anyone else he wouldn’t look away.

When the sun lowered and the sky turned orange, Levi’s relentless carving stopped. Eren had finished tidying up his captain's quarters long ago, and had resigned himself to laying his head on Levi’s desk and watching his captain’s skilled hands work. Seeing the wood curl as Levi’s thumb pressed against a handle of a knife fascinated him. How a piece of wood could be turned into a beautiful chess piece still eluded him despite seeing it right in front of his eyes.

“It’s about that time.” Levi said, turning the unfinished piece in his hand.

“Captain…can I touch it? The pawn I mean.” Eren said a bit wistfully.

“Knock yourself out, kid. Should get going now, though.” Levi dropped the carving into Eren’s hands. His hands cupped around the wooden pawn like it would break if he did anything more.

Eren held onto it like that as his captain led him though the halls and stairs of the building, with only the little sun left outside and the candle Levi held lighting the way. He’d never been to this part of the building and the further they went the more abandoned it seemed. The amount of furniture started to dissipate, dust made a permanent home on the walls and floors, and it lacked the distinctive aura of any recent human life. How this led to fireworks, Eren didn’t know.

All while Levi’s creation was cradled in his hand, providing him a sort of comfort while his mind raced trying to figure out what Levi had planned.

They went around a curved staircase and every footstep seemed to echo against the stone floor. Eren’s eyes were firmly on where the light glowed around Levi, fearing that he might lose him despite there being no way to go but up. His captain would glance back at him every once in a while. The sight of the candle light reflecting on his face reminded Eren of something out of a painting he’d see on the walls of the wealthy officials manors they’d been forced to visit for galas.

He could see Levi’s unoccupied hand start to grip where his leg and prosthetic met before suddenly stopping himself. Worry bubbled in Eren’s stomach. His captain knew his own limits but that hadn’t stopped him from going too far before. Just right when Eren was about to voice his concerns, Levi stilled.

A door separated the stairs they stood on, and whatever lies behind it’s wooden frame. Light leaked from under it, a sign of some sort of life had been in there recently.

“ _Eren_ , do you trust me?” Levi’s voice felt even more soothing than usual after all the silence.

“Of course.”

“Close your eyes.” With a small grin Eren did so.

The door loudly creaked open, and then for a moment Eren wondered if Levi was waiting for him to move. Then, warmth enveloped one of his hands and he could feel entwining their fingers; the wooden carving pressed between their palms. He was pulled into the mysterious room, Levi warning and weaving him when he was about to bump into anything. He heard something being set down, along with him and Levi’s soft breathing and the cracking of fire.

His captain slowly and carefully untangled tangled, making sure the carving stayed in Eren’s hand. He gave Eren’s hand one last squeeze before helping Eren sit down.

Levi cleared his throat and then said, “You can open your eyes now.”

As he started to open them, Eren said “I don’t see why you had me close — Oh.”

The dead twilight sky greeted him through the many windows that surrounded him. The silver-dusted half moon shined directly on him and the stars glowed behind the wisps of clouds. Down below he could make out figures in the streets and thousands light filled windows making their own sort of star pattern.

“I wanted to go on the wall originally, but I couldn’t exactly get clearance for that in such short notice.”

“It’s perfect.” It was the only words Eren could manage to say.

They must be in one of the towers, Eren figured. He tore his gaze away from the view and finally looked at the rest of the room. Unlike the halls they went through, the room in the tower was clean. Not ‘Levi clean’ which struck Eren as odd.

What struck him even more odd was how...gaudy it was decorated. The glow of the fireplace illuminated the room along with the glow from the candles strewn everywhere. Rose petals lined every inch of the floor, and it’s a wonder that he hadn’t felt them when he walked in. It looked like someone took anything that looked even remotely romantic and stuffed it all in here. He spotted a box in the corner that looked like it was filled with oils and — Oh.

He quickly looked away. His captain couldn’t have been the one to bring them up here. Did he plan for them to —? Nope. He wasn’t going to think about that.

“When did you get the chance to do all this?” Eren asked, trying to pretend he hadn’t seen the box. Which probably wasn’t all too convincing because now all he could think about was the possibility that Levi felt the same.

Or maybe he didn’t like Eren romantically at all and saw how Eren looked at him last night? Saw the desire and Eren’s eyes raking up and down his unclothed figure. Had an idea that his and Eren’s relationship could have extra benefits. That didn’t sound like his captain at all but the thought upset him regardless. Still, the idea that his captain desired him at all…

“Last night, while you slept.”

“I thought you slept better last night.” Eren frowned.

“I did. _After_ I went and set this up. Well had Moblit set it up. Not exactly suited to go up and down stairs multiple times.” Grimacing at the particularly tasteless heart shaped items all over the room. “I’m guessing from all the shit in here Hange found out and took over.” 

“That explains it.” He felt both relieved and disappointed. “Hange has some strange ideas about our relationship. They really went overboard with all the romantic stuff.” Eren internally winced at his wording.

A beat passed and Eren couldn’t read Levi’s expression at all. Instead of responding he walked out of Eren’s line of sight.

“Captain?”

“How’s your hand?” Levi’s voice came from somewhere behind him, along with the sound of pouring.

“My hand? Oh. I forgot that I even hurt it.”

“We’ll have to check it in the morning.” Levi mumbled, while he finally appeared with two drinks. Eren accepted what he assumed was rum from Levi’s outstretched hand.

The couch shifted under Levi’s weight as he sat shoulder to shoulder with Eren. He fidgeted with the unfinished pawn in his hand as he tried not to think about the clean musk that wafted off of his captain. It became even harder to focus once Levi put his arm around where Eren sat.

He took a swig of his drink, a pleasant burn going down his throat, but he knew that I’d be a while before he felt even remotely buzzed.

His captain suddenly got close enough that their bodies were pressed against each other. His warm hand rested on Eren’s gauze covered one, now one arm around Eren’s back and the surrounding his torso. Then Levi tapped on the carving that Eren had been rolling between his fingers.“Why’d you even want to bring that? It’s just a chess piece.”

Once the words left his captain’s mouth he slowly moved away and went back to his original position, though his eyes were still on Eren.

“Well, sir, you…you put a lot of love into it. And the things people put love into say a lot about them. Kinda like they’re a part of them.” Or at least that’s what Eren tried to say. If Levi understood the jumbled mess of words he didn’t know. Usually he was more confident with these types of things — too confident some might say — but something about Levi made him stumble.

After a moment Levi took a sip of his drink and asked, “What does it mean about you then? You put love into everything you do.”

His captain’s words had an overwhelming amount of sincerity. Different from the straightforward praise he’d usually hear from the other man. All he could do was breathe out “Captain…”

The sound heard next reverberated in his bones and put his mind on edge. His body tightened and he gripped his glass hard enough that he thought he could hear it cracking. It was only when he looked away from Levi that he saw the display of colors outside. Fireworks. He had been so caught up in their conversation that he’d forgotten why they came here in the first place.

His breathing calmed and he focused on the bright colorful bursts outside. There was nothing to fear — The soldiers here hadn’t seen war in hundreds of years, but somehow the words felt untrue as he thought them. 

❆

 **They watched the sky together** for what felt like hours, and the tower felt like a world of their own. Though, when he’d look over he always seemed to catch Levi’s eyes on him instead.

The fireworks started to fire less rapidly, a sign that it’d be over soon. Eren had finished his drink ago, but Levi was on his fourth glass. After downing another drink, Levi broke the silence. “This is around the time where I was gonna give you the tickets,” Levi turned to face Eren, his knee pressed up against the other man’s thigh. “But this’ll have to do as a surprise.”

“Captain, you’ve done so much for me. There’s really no need for anything else —” 

“I’ll go. To the festival. To Shiganshina.”

Yesterday those words would’ve made his heart sore, but all he felt was guilt.

“I’m grateful, sir, but you don’t have to make yourself celebrate for my sake. You shouldn’t have to. I was being selfish —”

“Nope. Not letting you say that. Look, I was the one who was being a fucking dick. You were just being nice…I’m not always like this during the holidays, you know. Or I wasn’t. Not big on celebrations but if a thing I’d usually do with my mother — Don’t say anything, I’m not finished. I see that angry pout you get when you’re mad at yourself.

“I don’t have an angry pou—” Eren started before quickly closing his mouth again. “Sorry. Continue.” 

“My mother is off the island, staying with new found family members from her mom’s side. It’s a country near Hizuru. She spent too much of her life raising me, figure I can at least give her the life she deserves.” Levi breaks eye contact as he says this. And a little more bitter, and maybe more for himself than Eren, he adds “Funnily enough, it turns out some of my father's family is also from there. Small world.”

He continued, “This isn’t me going because of pity or feeling forced. So don’t spend the whole night racking your pretty big head worrying about me.”

“Big head?!”

Levi puts his hands on both sides of Eren’s head and squishes his cheeks. He pulls Eren down so their noses are inches away and Eren can smell alcohol on his breath.

“That’s what you’re focusing on? What, you want me to say little head? You gotta big head for that big brain that controls that huge ass of yours.” Not missing a beat, and suddenly letting go of Eren’s face, Levi quickly corrects himself. “Body. That huge ass body of yours. Shit.”

“Captain,” Eren laughed a little breathlessly. “Hange was right about you.” Him talking more when he was drunk was an understatement.

Levi tsked, “I don’t want to hear about that asshat and whatever shit they told you.” He paused. “But…”

“But…?” Eren mimicked.

“I could use that massage you offered yesterday.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regarding Eren comment on what Levi smells like, I’m never going to recover from Levi and Eren getting candle merch and Levi’s smelling musky (A clean musk. He showers 😍) and Eren’s like clean laundry. They’re really made for each other. 
> 
> And I lied!! The rating is going up in the next chapter. Partially because I couldn’t resist the opportunity of having Eren kneel between Levi’s legs 🤤 And because it’s going to be Levi’s POV and he also cannot resist the opportunity, nor can he control his E rated thoughts. Like Eren is out here double cheeked up on a thursday afternoon, tits out, hair down, legs for days, smelling like clean laundry and I have the audacity to almost censor Levi’s thoughts? 😤 Mad at myself for almost doing that to him.
> 
> The ‘Jealous Levi’ and ‘Angst’ tags will show up in full force next chapter, so be prepared. As always, love to hear your thoughts! Hope you guys had a good Valentine's day, if that’s something you celebrate. I spent mine sleeping 😴😴


End file.
